"I see ye already have it. Looks a bit rusted though, and I have just the thing for rust protection. It be called "I can't believe it's not sand." It looks like sand, it feels like sand, it tastes like sand, but here's the crazy part--it be not sand! Although it be not guaranteed that ye won't actually end up with sand. So, shall we start the bidding at...oh let's say...four treasure chests full of sparkly gems?"